Why I Don't Want Kids

In "Someday You'll Die," Glaser devotes a significant chunk of her set to explaining why she doesn't want children. Her argument isn't the usual "I like sleep" deflection—it's a genuine, uncomfortable examination of whether she's capable of the selflessness that parenting requires.

She admits that she's too self-absorbed, too anxious, and too aware of how the world works to bring someone new into it. But she also admits she's terrified she's wrong—that in thirty years she'll regret this decision with a specificity that no amount of freedom can cure.

The bit is brave because it doesn't resolve. Most comedy about not wanting kids ends with either "and I'm fine with that" or "and I changed my mind." Glaser ends with genuine uncertainty, which is more honest than either option.

It's the kind of material that only works from a comedian at a certain stage of life. Glaser is old enough for the decision to feel real and young enough for the doubt to feel genuine. The audience laughs, but they also recognize someone working through something in real time.