I Drink Too Much

Dangerfield applies his rapid-fire one-liner machine to drinking, and the results are characteristically relentless. "I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it." "I went to a bar, had a few drinks. The bartender said 'Shall I call you a cab?' I said 'No, call me a drunk—that's what everyone else calls me.'"

The drinking material functions as an extension of the "no respect" universe: even his vices don't bring him dignity. Where other comedians might glamorize drinking or play it for rebellion, Dangerfield treats it as just another way the universe confirms his worthlessness.

What's remarkable is the density. In the time it takes most comedians to set up one joke, Dangerfield fires off five—each one a self-contained unit of self-destruction, each one landing with the precision of decades of nightclub refinement.