One-Liner Kings
Proof that you don't need ten minutes to land a perfect joke. These bits showcase the art of economy—maximum impact, minimum words.
“Sorry for the convenience.”
Escalator Temporarily Stairs
Mitch Hedberg
Strategic Grill Locations, 1999
“I still do, but I used to, too.”
I Used to Do Drugs
Mitch Hedberg
Mitch All Together, 2003
“I do it because I hate bread.”
Ducks and Bread
Mitch Hedberg
Strategic Grill Locations, 1999
“Where the fuck did you get that banana?”
Banana Traffic Light
Mitch Hedberg
Mitch All Together, 2003
“I don't need a receipt for the donut. End of transaction.”
The Receipt for the Donut
Mitch Hedberg
Mitch All Together, 2003
“No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.”
My Friend Asked Me If I Wanted a Frozen Banana
Mitch Hedberg
Strategic Grill Locations, 1999
“I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member.”
Club Sandwich
Mitch Hedberg
Mitch All Together, 2003
“There is no sex in the champagne room.”
No Sex in the Champagne Room
Chris Rock
Bigger & Blacker, 1999
“That's all your house is—a pile of stuff with a cover on it.”
A Place for My Stuff
George Carlin
A Place for My Stuff, 1981
“My body's a temple. Unfortunately, it's one of those temples in a war zone.”
Soup to Nuts - Joke Machine
Mark Normand
Soup to Nuts, Netflix, 2023