Absurdist
23 bits
“Because the light was on.”
The Moth Joke
Norm Macdonald
Late Night with Conan O'Brien, 2009
“Then you're gay.”
Professor of Logic
Norm Macdonald
Various talk show appearances
“Sorry for the convenience.”
Escalator Temporarily Stairs
Mitch Hedberg
Strategic Grill Locations, 1999
“I do it because I hate bread.”
Ducks and Bread
Mitch Hedberg
Strategic Grill Locations, 1999
“Where the fuck did you get that banana?”
Banana Traffic Light
Mitch Hedberg
Mitch All Together, 2003
“And that's when the teacher fainted.”
Dirty Johnny
Norm Macdonald
Various appearances
“It's a big hat. It's funny.”
Turd Ferguson
Norm Macdonald
Saturday Night Live, Celebrity Jeopardy sketches, 1998-2009
“I am a professional.”
The German Guy
Norm Macdonald
Norm Macdonald Live, various talk show appearances
“I don't need a receipt for the donut. End of transaction.”
The Receipt for the Donut
Mitch Hedberg
Mitch All Together, 2003
“No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.”
My Friend Asked Me If I Wanted a Frozen Banana
Mitch Hedberg
Strategic Grill Locations, 1999
“I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member.”
Club Sandwich
Mitch Hedberg
Mitch All Together, 2003
“To be or not to be—THAT is the question, brother!”
Shakespeare as a Wrestler
Robin Williams
Robin Williams: Live on Broadway, 2002
Happy Feet
Steve Martin
A Wild and Crazy Guy (1978 album/tour)
Cruel Shoes
Steve Martin
Various live performances, later published in Cruel Shoes (1979)
“We are two wild and crazy guys!”
A Wild and Crazy Guy
Steve Martin
Saturday Night Live / A Wild and Crazy Guy (album, 1978)
“Born in Arizona, moved to Babylonia—King Tut!”
King Tut
Steve Martin
Saturday Night Live, 1978 / Single release
Grandmother's Song
Steve Martin
Various live performances, Comedy Is Not Pretty (1979)
History Guys
Shane Gillis
Beautiful Dogs, 2023
Down Syndrome Superman
Shane Gillis
Live in Austin, 2021
“Apple juice—it's a C-minus beverage.”
Apple Juice
Hannibal Buress
Animal Furnace, 2012
Morpheus Rap
Hannibal Buress
Comedy Camisado, 2016
The Civil War
Shane Gillis
Live in Austin, 2021
Pickle Juice
Hannibal Buress
Comedy Camisado, 2014